From a young age I was gay and there was no hiding it. I don’t know what gave it away: me wanting to dress in drag or my crush on Adam Levine. Either way from a young age there was a target on my back with the word faggot in bold. This word has been a part of my vocabulary since before the 1st grade before I realized its true meaning. The word has weight and an even heavier history. This derogatory term has been weaponized against the LGBTQ+ communtiy but why? Where is the word derived from? Why is it so important?
While the word’s meaning now is used against gay people its origin isn’t so simple. The word can be dated back to the 1300’s in England and it was used against women. It was an abusive term used towards older women specifically known as “faggot-gatherer.” Now when I was doing the research I was confused, what were women gathering at the time? All I could think of was a gaggle of gays. So here I am thinking women in the 1300’s were going round’ the town collecting a bunch of gay people. I will say I was wrong. The meaning for faggot came from the latin word fasces which meant “bundle of sticks.” This now makes sense with the use of “faggot-gatherer” against women. Another one of the original uses of the word was, “work until wearied.” At this time the word was likely either fagged or fagging which was more associated with women’s chores. Yet, with this information, we can see the correlation to its use today. Many gay men are more effeminate, so straight men correlate gay with feminity or women. The usage does depend on the country as well. For instance, it is well known that cigarettes in England are called fags, most likey becuase of the latin word for “bundle of sticks.” Yet, in places like the United States it has been used as a way to tear down the LGBTQ+ community. A word that for some it’s history holds little to no weight. But for others, like me, the word pushes you down steps on your throat.
The word paralyzes me. Trust me, I am not one to hold back, but the minute I hear that word, I shut down. I would always get so frustrated with myself for letting words affect me so deeply, but the word’s significance is more than just its etymology. Since the early 1900’s in the United States the word’s usage took on a new form. Since then the word has been a staple slur against the LGBTQ+ communtiy and seen as an insult to many heterosexual men. The importance of this word can be seen through the countless acts of violence against the community. That six letter word has been used to target, beat, and kill members of the community. The concepts of both masculinity and femininity have played a big role in the development of faggot. Seeing as its original use was to mock women and their chores, we see a pattern. The word’s derogatory meaning comes from femininity, like most other words that are perceived as insults towards men ie; bitch, pussy, pansy, etc. This being said, the stereotypical gender roles are the reason for the word’s weight. Queer people being bullied and harrased for not following these “rules.” The importance behind slurs is how influential they are to many people and the view of themselves. For years I was scared of who I was, not because I didn’t know, but because I didn’t want other people to. I wanted to limit the pain and helplessness I feel when that word is whispered or yelled. Yet no matter how far I wanted it to disappear, it would bubble over the surface. Words like faggot try and bury that back inside you, have you feel that shame. When we understand its background, we can see why the word produces these emotions. Researching the history of words like faggot show, not only it’s signifigance linguistically, but also socially and, the impact it has on the LGBTQ+ community.
At the end of the day, the word hurts. I know that’s not something you’re supposed to say but it does. The word faggot has been used as a dergatory term, whether towards women or men, for centuries. Its association with the LGBTQ+ community is strong and violent, but just remember; a bunch of women in the 1300’s would go out into their backyard and gather up a bunch of gay men. This helps. Remembering the history helps. Understanding the importance helps. Sometimes I just wish it could help more. But I have come to realize something. I am a faggot.
Resources:
www.dictionary.com. 2020. Definition Of Faggot | Dictionary.Com. [online] Available at: <https://www.dictionary.com/browse/faggot> [Accessed 3 October 2020].
Adl.org. 2018. The History And Impact Of Anti-LGBT Slurs. [online] Available at: <https://www.adl.org/media/6788/download> [Accessed 4 October 2020].
Finn, J., 2018. A History Of Fags And Faggots. [online] Medium. Available at: <https://medium.com/th-ink/a-history-of-fags-and-faggots-295726f549df> [Accessed 5 October 2020].
Naliaka, T. (2015). Sticks Sold in Sahelian Markets [West Africa]. Retrieved 2020, from https://americanliterature.com/author/aesop/short-story/the-bundle-of-sticks
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